Personal Safety Protocols

The Safe Call System

What Is a Safe Call?

A safe call is a pre-arranged check-in with a trusted person who knows where you are, who you're with, and when you're expected to be done. If you don't check in on time, your safe call person follows an escalation protocol that you've agreed upon in advance. It's the most fundamental safety tool in the industry, and you should use it for every single appointment.

Step-by-Step Setup

1. Choose your safe call person: This should be someone you trust completely — another provider, a close friend who knows what you do, a family member who is supportive of your work. They need to be reliable, available during your working hours, and willing to follow through on the escalation protocol if needed. Avoid using someone who might panic or who disapproves of your work.
2. Share client information: Before each appointment, send your safe call person the client's name, phone number, physical description, and the location of the meeting. If it's an outcall, include the hotel name and room number. For incalls, they should already know your work address.
3. Set check-in times: Agree on when you'll check in. A typical schedule: a text when the client arrives, a text or call 15-30 minutes into the session, and a text when the client leaves. Adjust based on session length.
4. Establish code words: Create a simple system. "All good" means everything is fine. A specific word or phrase (something natural-sounding, like "Can you feed my cat?" or "I forgot to call the dentist") means you need help. Another phrase means "Call 911 to my location immediately."
5. Define the escalation protocol: If you miss a check-in, your safe call person should: (1) attempt to call or text you, (2) wait a defined period (5-10 minutes), (3) if no response, call your phone, (4) if still no response, call emergency services to your location. Write this out and make sure both of you have a copy.

Safe Call Script

Here's how a safe call conversation typically goes when the client can hear you:

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm at [location] and everything's fine. I'll call you again in about an hour. If you don't hear from me by [time], go ahead and [code for escalation action]. Talk soon!"

This sounds like a normal phone call to anyone listening, but it communicates your location, status, and next check-in time to your safe call person.

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Check-In Protocols

Timing Your Check-Ins

The frequency and timing of check-ins depends on your booking type:

• Standard incall (1-2 hours): Text when the client arrives, text when they leave.
• Longer bookings (3+ hours): Text at arrival, check in every 1-2 hours, text at departure.
• Outcalls: Text when you arrive at the location, text 15 minutes in (confirming everything is fine), hourly check-ins, text when you leave.
• Overnight/extended: Check in at the start, at defined intervals (every 2-3 hours while awake), and at the end.
• New clients (first meeting): More frequent check-ins — every 30 minutes for the first session.

What to Share in Each Check-In

Keep check-ins brief but informative. Your safe call person needs to know: Are you safe? Is the situation as expected? When is your next check-in? A simple "All good, next check-in at 9pm" covers everything. If you're calling rather than texting and the client can hear you, use the script format above.

When to Escalate

Your safe call person should escalate if:

• You miss a scheduled check-in and don't respond to their follow-up within the agreed timeframe
• You use your distress code word or phrase
• Your check-in message sounds unusual or forced ("I'm totally fine, everything is great, don't worry about me" when your normal style is "All good")
• Your phone goes to voicemail repeatedly when it shouldn't

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Incall Safety

Room Setup and Physical Security

Your incall space should be set up with safety in mind from day one. Think of it as your workplace — you control the environment, and that's your biggest advantage.

• Locks: Install a deadbolt and a chain lock on your front door. Inside, consider a secondary lock on the bedroom or session room door that can only be operated from inside. Make sure all locks work properly and check them regularly.
• Camera system: A visible security camera at your entrance serves double duty — it records who enters your space and deters bad behavior. Many providers also use a doorbell camera (Ring, Nest) to see clients before opening the door. Make sure your camera system stores footage securely and that clients are aware they're being recorded in common areas (this is a legal requirement in many jurisdictions).
• Panic button: Keep a personal alarm or panic button within reach of your session area. Wearable panic buttons that send your location to emergency contacts are available from multiple manufacturers. Some providers keep one attached to the underside of a nightstand or in a specific pocket.
• Room layout: Position yourself so you always have a clear path to the door. Don't let the client position themselves between you and the exit. Keep the room uncluttered so you can move quickly if needed. Remove or secure any objects that could be used as weapons (heavy decorative items, glass objects, tools).
• Supplies in reach: Keep your phone, a flashlight, and your personal alarm within arm's reach at all times. Some providers keep pepper spray in a specific, accessible location as well (check your local laws on this).

Arrival Protocol

Establish a consistent arrival routine for clients:

1. Client texts when they arrive (parking or outside the building)
2. You verify them on the camera before buzzing them in or opening the door
3. Greet them, close and lock the door
4. Offer them a moment to freshen up (this gives you time to send your safe call check-in)
5. Handle payment before any intimate contact begins

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Outcall Safety

Hotel Assessment

Outcalls carry additional risk because you're in the client's chosen environment, not yours. Assess the location before you commit:

• Hotel quality: Reputable hotels with front desks, security cameras, and staff present are far safer than motels, Airbnbs, or private residences. If a client books a sketchy motel when they could afford better, that's a red flag.
• Verify the booking: Ask the client for the hotel name, their reservation name, and room number. You can call the hotel front desk to confirm a guest by that name is registered. If they can't or won't provide this information, don't go.
• Research the area: A quick Google Maps check tells you about the neighborhood, parking availability, and nearby businesses. Avoid isolated locations with limited exit routes.

Room Positioning and Exit Routes

When you arrive at the room:

• Note the room number and floor as you walk in — you need to be able to communicate your exact location quickly if needed
• Scan for other people. If anyone else is in the room who wasn't disclosed, leave immediately
• Keep your belongings near the door, not scattered around the room
• Note where the emergency exits are on the floor (they're posted on the back of the room door in most hotels)
• Don't let the client lock the deadbolt or chain — you need to be able to leave quickly. A turned lock on the knob is fine; a deadbolt trapping you inside is not
• Position yourself so you can reach the door without the client blocking your path
• Keep your shoes on or easily accessible — you need to be able to leave immediately if needed

Private Residences

Outcalls to private residences carry the highest risk. If you do them at all, apply extra screening requirements, require a higher deposit, always share the exact address with your safe call person, and consider having a driver or security person wait nearby. Many experienced providers refuse private residence outcalls entirely for new clients — this is a completely reasonable boundary.

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Driver and Security

When You Need a Driver or Security Person

Consider using a driver or security person for: outcalls to unfamiliar areas, late-night appointments, new client meetings, appointments that involve traveling to a different city, and any situation where your gut tells you extra safety would help.

How to Vet Your Security

Your driver or security person has access to sensitive information about your business — your schedule, your locations, your clients. Choose carefully:

• Use someone you trust personally and professionally — another provider's recommendation is valuable
• Never use a romantic partner as security — the emotional dynamics create conflicts of interest
• Establish clear boundaries: they drive and wait, they don't enter the session space, they don't interact with clients, they don't take a cut beyond their agreed fee
• Professional security services that specialize in the adult industry exist in some cities — these are ideal if available and affordable
• Your driver should have your safe call information and be part of your escalation protocol

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Self-Defense Basics

Situational Awareness

Most dangerous situations give warning signs before they become physical. Stay alert to changes in the client's behavior: escalating aggression, substance use during the session, fixation on acts you've declined, blocking the exit, or suddenly locking doors. If you sense the energy shifting, trust that instinct and begin de-escalation or exit.

De-Escalation

When a situation begins to feel tense or the client becomes agitated:

• Keep your voice calm, steady, and low. Don't match their energy
• Use their name — it humanizes you and can snap someone out of an aggressive mindset
• Create physical distance casually (stand up to "get water," move toward the door)
• Offer an out: "I can tell you're not having a great time. Let's call it here, no hard feelings"
• Don't escalate, challenge, or threaten — even if you're angry. The goal is to exit safely, not to win
• If money is the issue, it's not worth your safety. "You know what, don't worry about the rest" can defuse a situation that's about to become violent

Physical Options

If de-escalation fails and you're in physical danger:

• Make noise: Scream, trigger your personal alarm, bang on walls. Draw attention
• Create distance and run: Your goal is to get out of the space, not to fight. Break free and run toward people — a hotel lobby, a business, a busy street
• If you can't run: Target vulnerable areas — eyes, nose, throat, groin. You're fighting for your life, not sparring. Hit hard, hit fast, and run the moment you create an opening
• Self-defense tools: Pepper spray (where legal), personal alarms, and tactical flashlights are all reasonable tools to keep accessible. Know how to use them before you need them

Consider taking a self-defense class — specifically one that focuses on real-world scenarios rather than sport martial arts. Many cities have women's self-defense courses, and some organizations offer classes specifically for sex workers. Even a basic course gives you tools and confidence that can make a critical difference.

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Emergency Procedures

If You Are Threatened

1. Prioritize your physical safety above everything — money, belongings, your phone
2. If you can leave, leave. Don't confront, don't negotiate, just go
3. Get to a safe location (another room with a lock, a public space, a neighbor's door)
4. Call your safe call person or emergency services immediately
5. Do not return to the scene alone

If You Are Assaulted

First: none of this is your fault. Regardless of what you do for work, no one has the right to assault you.

• Get safe: Get away from the attacker and to a safe location
• Medical attention: Go to a hospital or urgent care. If you've been sexually assaulted, request a forensic exam (rape kit). You don't have to file a police report to get examined, but the evidence will be preserved if you decide to report later
• Do not shower or change clothes before the forensic exam, as difficult as that may be — physical evidence is time-sensitive
• Document everything: As soon as you're safe, write down everything you remember — what happened, in what order, what was said, physical descriptions, any identifying details
• Report if you choose to: You have the right to report to police. You also have the right not to. Many cities have victim advocates who can accompany you through the reporting process. Some areas have sex-worker-friendly legal organizations that can advise you on your options
• Seek support: Contact a crisis hotline, a therapist, or a trusted friend. Organizations that support sex workers can provide specialized resources and advocacy

If You Are Robbed

• Do not resist if a weapon is involved — no amount of money is worth your life
• Try to remember details: appearance, clothing, vehicle, direction of travel
• Call your safe call person immediately after the perpetrator leaves
• Report to police if you feel safe doing so — robbery is a serious crime regardless of what you do for work
• Warn your provider network with a description and any identifying information

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Documentation and Incident Logging

Why Document?

Keeping records of incidents — even minor ones — serves multiple purposes. It creates a pattern record if a problem client escalates over time, provides evidence if you need to involve law enforcement, helps you warn other providers with specific details, and can support legal action if needed.

What to Document

For any concerning incident, record:

• Date, time, and duration of the appointment
• Client's name, phone number, and any other identifying information from screening
• Physical description (height, weight, build, distinguishing features)
• Vehicle description if applicable (make, model, color, license plate)
• Detailed description of what happened, in chronological order
• Any injuries sustained (photograph them)
• Names of any witnesses
• Whether police were contacted and any report numbers

Evidence Preservation

• Save all communication with the client (texts, emails, app messages) — screenshot them in case the platform deletes messages
• Preserve security camera footage if applicable
• Photograph any injuries, property damage, or evidence immediately
• Store documentation in a secure, encrypted location that's backed up
• Consider giving a copy of your documentation to your safe call person or a trusted friend for safekeeping

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Related guides: Client Screening Guide · Digital OPSEC · Dealing With Stalkers · Safety Technology · Setting Boundaries